I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
