I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
