i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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