Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
