it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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