So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
