whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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