What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.