Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.