some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
