We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
