did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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