never play flip cup with pint glasses
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
