Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
