i barfeds in our rink
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
