ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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