Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
