literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
