i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
