So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
