If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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