Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
