last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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