All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
