just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
