you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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