Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
