If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
