We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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