my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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