can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
