are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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