Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
