Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
