You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
