You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
