Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
