We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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