I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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