They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.