Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.