I hate all girls vehemently.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All the doctor said was why