you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
