you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
