sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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