I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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