i need an iv and a liver transplant
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
