WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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