I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
