I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
