So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
