moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you have to choose: penises or morals?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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