party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
