I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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