Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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