Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
