your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
