I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
