oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
