if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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