No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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