is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drunk is a universal language darling
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