Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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