Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
